Award Tour Vol. 55: The National Anthem

0:00
The singer, an officer of the law, steps up the podium - he appears briefly composed...

...that's all about to change

0:03
A scant 3 seconds into the Star Spangled Banner - we note (with trepidation) that our crooner has not not yet decided in which key he'll sing the song. Bucking conventional wisdom, it seems he'll try out a few of them before he picks one. We also note (with a mixture of suppresed laughter and abject horror) that he appears to be having trouble remembering what comes after "Oh say can you see" - evidenced by one of several glances down at his "crib sheet".

0:05
We (and by we, I mean those of us who are sane) listen to crooner flatly belt out the word "dawn" as though it was actually spelled "d-o-a-n" and wonder - if english is a language that this mans speaks at all?

0:10
We are now able to confirm that the "crib sheet" upon which our hero was relying so heavily has been compromised. It was apparently filled with an incoherent string of unrelated verbage that will not in any way deter our hero from singing them out as printed.

0:12
Didn't like the way the original National Anthem was written? No problem... rewrite it as you go along. You too can suspend your disbelief - and decide that "What so proudly we hailed" does sort of sound like "What so haaaaally faaalaay" - if you say it fast enough and the people around aren't paying attention (of course, however, in this video, they ARE paying attention).

0:16
"At the last gleaming full bright" His words not mine. If you can make sense of it - that's a problem. You probably share a similar cognitive disorder as this singer and need to seek help.

0:21
The wheels have fallen off completely at this point. Through the magic of video editing they manage to cut-a-way from the singer momentarily - to another officer sitting in the crowd. He sits stoic. It is difficult to tell what's going on in his mind. Is he stifiling laughter, or is he murdering the soloist with a pick axe in accordance with what "the voices" told him? Conceptually, I think we can all sympathize. I mean, do we really think this guy served 2 tours of duty in Vietnam fragging communists in the name of the American way - just so this man could stand before us and butcher the National Anthem with impunity? No I don't think so. The more I think about it, the more I think "pick axe".

0:30
The massacre continues. Though we cannot see it, we surmise that the singer has given up all hope on his "crib sheet" saving him and resorts to just making up words and phrases as he sees fit. Another officer in the crowd is shown, trying his best to maintain the dignity that the singer will not likewise show to himself and the anthem. Officially, the carnage is halfway over.

0:44-0:49
"proof to the night... that the star was still there". Sure the star was still there... but something's not quite right about all this. What's wrong with this phrase? Apparently nothing if you forget the fact that you're singing the National Anthem... but I repeat myself.

0:53
It seems that one musical key, simply will not due. Our crooner seems content to perform all along the extremes of the Treble Clef; exploring the keys one by one to see what works best for talents and abilities.

0:57
Remix history has been made. It seems the Star Spangled Banner yet waves o'er "the land of the brave, and the home of the free". And while we know those aren't the words to the song - you have to admit - even in reverse it's still true.

Ironically the video ends with another officer coming to the podium asking the crowd "to join him in prayer".

The National Anthem as it's never been (nor should be) sung.
http://www.thatvideosite.com/view/2564.html