Award Tour Vol. 50: Look Into It

While I would never actually date her (let alone marry her) I think Star Jones was once cute in a robust-Chunky-Prago-not-so-attractive-but-not-repulsive-way (assuming that such a thing were possible)...



but that was all before the failed experiment in high-speed weight loss. And let's keep in mind that's just my opinion - Al Reynolds is the one who has to sleep with her at night... (yeah right)*.

*I don't suppose I'll be hearing the same chorus of protests that I heard when I implied that Tyson Beckford was gay - now that I'm suggesting that Al Reynolds is as gay as a pink satin fanny pack filled with glitter covered rainbows - I'm betting I won't hear anything. There's a bit of hypocrisy in that don't you think? Anyway.

If Star Jones wanted to lose weight - that's her prerogative - it's her body. I'm just saying that everything is not for everybody. And on this one, she can't just change her mind. She can't hit the switch on the "Way Back" machine or eat her way back into that roly-poly "cute-in-the-face" status she once held (even if only tenuously). She's stuck with what she has now - and it's a frightening image. She looks like what a "Bobble Head" Star Jones might look like, if a fairy godmother suddenly appeared - waved a magic wand, and gave that Bobble Head "life" and "scurvy" at the same time - it is not a good look.

I also think that Star might do well to discontinue her claim that she didn't have gastric bypass surgery. The only other "procedure" that I'm aware of that allows you to lose weight as rapidly as this is a lil' ole' thing we like to call "Smoking Crack". And while, it would not take much to convince me that this is what she actually did - the "exit wound" in her chest tells most of us what we already knew.




That she has repeatedly denied rumors that she's had the procedure done should amuse you and simultaneously insult your intelligence - especially given the picture above. It was either gastric bypass surgery - or there is a baby alien scurrying loose somewhere in the sewers of New York freshly hatched from her chest. By the way Star, they have this stuff called Cocoa butter - it helps to blend away scars - seriously - look into it.